The Truth Is Out There….

BladedDingo - February 24, 2009

So, I have a co-worker who works with me that is a little, Shall we say… Eccentric; Ok, Maybe that’s not the exact wording that I’d go with, let’s try:

Crazy, Insane, weirdo, bonkers, wonky… take your pick. Basically she can be summed up in one sentence.

The Government was behind 9-11.

Now, that’s cool if you want to believe any crackpot theory there is… The Illuminati are controlling our minds with television, Barack Obama is not American and his election was a government run farce, the government has cures for A.I.D’s and cancer’s, but it’s more profitable to treat then cure. Or that Hemp, and by extension, pot can cure any illness and solve any problem.

Ya know what? I really don’t care about your stupid theories, your half baked idea’s and arguments not backed up with fact and substance, it makes for a good read and can be exciting sometimes, but really now…. NOT EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY.

Literally EVERY word out of this woman’s mouth is about a conspiracy; she touts her beliefs at work everyday, and any conversation no matter how civil winds up SOMEHOW coming back to how the government is screwing us over.

My garden plants die; I’m a horrible gardener, Nope. Turns out the government is killing them to make genetically modified plants we can buy in stores and jacking the prices.

I have trouble breathing, turns out I don’t have asthma, and the government is poisoning us.

My favorite TV show was canceled cause of poor ratings, nah, Turns out the government is trying to brainwash us and it didn’t go as planned.

I’m telling you, this woman could make a pile of Rhino shit into a conspiracy, or at least tell you how the government made said rhino shit and why the Illuminati are behind it and how if the Rhino had just smoked some pot, it wouldn’t have shit at all.

Holy crap, I hope she doesn’t read this; I might have just made her day, maybe even her month, and this stuff’s golden.

Really though, she can’t seem to have a normal conversation without turning something into a conspiracy and sometimes it just really irks me.

I overheard her having a conversation with one of my co-workers, they were talking about how the other co-worker had shaved his head for cancer research, and this woman started to go off about how the government has cures, that research is useless and that the whole thing is pointless and the medicines that we have don’t work, maybe slow down, but don’t cure and the treatments we use are just a way to cut you up and charge you money.

Well, my mother had Breast Cancer, and these medicines and treatments that don’t work saved my mothers life, and this really annoyed me that she’d be so ignorant about… I don’t know, LIFE that she’d disown the medicines that have helped us live past the age of 30.

There’s a conspiracy for you, ready for this? it’ll blow your mind…

The Government is spreading false conspiracy theories so that stupid people will believe them, promoting people to “free peoples minds” by writing blogs, books and websites dedicated to these theories, then, these people will stay at home and do nothing but browse the internet for them, then the cable/internet people will stay in business and then many fast food chains will cater to them, thus stimulating the economy and helping the government make money!

There is only one way to fight this conspiracy, to believe that there ARE no conspiracies! Fight the man; show them that you don’t believe their lies!

Gotta go, the CIA are here…

Tags: Opinion | Rants